Influences

Moving along with what my mom said.. I had to take some time to think about who I really wanted to include in this post.. and while there has been multiple people and males who have had some sort of influence on me... I had to think about the ones who truely knew or know me, and my life!

First I have to start my best friend in the whole world and cousin PETER! Peter is more like a big brother to me, he does not live near me, but when I need him he definitely there in spirit! Growing up when I visited him for the summer I know we got on eachothers nerves, but now that I am older, I sure we still get on eachothers nerves!lol! Peter is always there to guide me, and tell me when I am heading down the wrong path in his loving manner. No matter what is going on in his world or mine, he can always put a smile on my face with his goofiness..:) I have been through some crazy things and gone to do something stupid things, but Peter is always there to talk to and bail me out!

I LOVE YOU FABIEN!!!

Next up is my dads brother/my uncle Que! Definitely is one of my favorite uncles on my Dads side, he is so easy to talk to, and always pushes me to do the rite things. Nobody is perfect and he like many of us has made mistakes, but he teaches me through them to make sure I do not make the same ones. I remember when I graduated, my dad said he could not come, and he never even called, despite my uncle's circumstance he sent a card with a letter...and he has never once forgotten my birthday! He is one of the few in the family that actually listens to both sides of the struggle between myself and my father.. and give guidance based upon that instead of basing it solely on the garbage my father has said! He is another individual that does not live close to me, but he is always there in spirit!

I LOVE YOU UNCLE QUE!!!!

Then we have good ole' Strick or Najee as most people know him. I met Strick in art class my senior year, and his work was always so amazing, so we use to sit next to each other in class. We quickly became friends, laughing and giggling over stupid stories, Family Guy, and my crazy friends back home. Strick was always there to keep me smiling. Strick like me does not have the best relationship with his father, and we never use to talk on that level until recently.. but I consider Strick like a brotha from another motha...lol!!! We always have a good time when we are together, but when it comes down to it, we can talk about pretty much anything, and we always got each others back! Lately Strick has been going through a lot, and I want him to know I am here for him, like he has always been for me!!

LOVE YA STRICK!!!!

Lastly we have James, I have known him the shortest amount of time, but I must say he has a very good judge of character and he knows me pretty well, I might even say a little better than the ones before him! During the short year and a half I have known him, he has offered a lot of guidance, and helped me make some monumental decisions, and helped me get rid of the trash in my life. James and I may not always see eye to eye, and he is never hesitant to express his own opinion about what he wants me to do. For a while James and I fell off becasue of some stupid mistakes I made, and I really regret, but we have recently began talking a little bit now.. and I will forever be grateful for what he has done for me, wether he realizes it or not!

THANK YOU JAMES!

(and i got to thank Zipporah for introducing us!)

My Back Bone!!!

This weekend my mom finally got to read my blog, we went to Starbucks together and read together, while she said I need to edit something she expressed how proud of me she was, and is! While on the way home form Starbucks she sad that I should attempt to place some positive things on my blog, besides the post I have about Mike. She said I should think about some positive male role models. While I do some positive male role models for a long time my mom has been my mother, father and everything else in between, so this one is all about my MOMMY!!! My mom is such an amazing woman and everyone who has the pleasure of knowing her, knows that! Despite my dad's lack of effort to be a father to me, my mother quickly assummed the role of both mother and father for me. She did what ever she needed to when i was growing up, taking night jobs to make sure she was there for me during the day, attending all my events, what ever it was SHE WAS THERE!!!  Just some examples of my mom doing what ever she can, I use to play travel volleyball, and we had an away game, and my mom said she couldn't go, so she sent to ride with a teammate. The morning of the tournament, as we were about to begin our second game in hops my mom(hops, because she had just had surgery the week before). My senior year of high school I moved away, and it was Thanksgiving and I was definitely home sick, well my mom told me there was no way she would be able to visit me, or have me come home....Rite before we sat down to eat dinner, my mom walked in.... I cried so hard!!

Although my mom and I have not always seen eye to eye, I always know she has my best interest at heart! My mom has been through a whole lot, and its by the grace of God that I have here with me day in and day out!! I understand it is what she has been through that makes her tha amazing individual she is and why she tells me the things she does(even though she says them a million times LOL)so I do not have go through what she did!!

As much as I have to thank my dad for making me the person I am, I have to thank my mom a million times more for helping to form that person, making me a better individual  and making me grow up as a WOMAN!!

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!!!

FAMILY!!!

As you all know Thankgiving just passed, and while I am thankful for so many things I have been blessed with...holidays are always a bit sad for me!!! Anybody who knows me knows that I love family.. and love to pull them together and love it when we are together!

This year my mother and I stayed home and had dinner together, very last minute (went shopping the morning of, and began to cook). It has always been difficult to spend holidays with ALL(meaning my mom and dads side) of my family because the majority of my mom's family is in England; while the majority of my dad's family lives less than two hours away.

                                                                                  

Now that my parents have split it is even harder, I NEVER want to leave my mom alone on any holiday...but I still want to see my other family sometimes. Granted my mom and I  are always invited to dad's family functions, because they all love my mom dearly it is not alwasy the most comfortable situation for her or my father if the both attend!

This Thanksgiving, my uncle offered to pick my up and take me to my Grandmothers with him, but that  would mean leaving my mom alone, and he said he was going to my Dad's house after and staying the night there.....NO, NO, NO!!!!

I already knew it would't go over well, especially since I called my dad twice on Thanksgiving and left voicemails, and I still have not heard from him!!!

 I love my dad dearly and wish that I could have gone down there to visit with family, but is way to emotional and too stressful, not to mention awkward!!!

Christmas is now coming up, and I heard my mother talking saying she is thinking of going to my grandmothers for the holiday, which means my father will be there...We Will See How That Goes????

www.fatherhood.gov

I know many of us may have seen these commercials....





As funny as the commercial maybe, it such an important message "Be a Dad TODAY!!" Now granted we know every father just becasue of their character are not going to start doing cheers with their child, but time with a child is so important like the commercial says the little we do can have the greatest impact...and the same goes for not being there or doing nothing at all!





Ok so not every father can double-dutch, but in my opininion it really does not matter what you are doing, it is really about them being their period; and the IMPACTthat has!!!!


This morning I went to the website(www.fatherhood.gov) that this PSA is for....


"The National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) is funded by the Administration for Children and Families' Office of Family Assistance's (OFA) and supports efforts to assist States and communities to promote and support Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage.


Primarily a tool for professionals operating Responsible Fatherhood programs, the NRFC provides access to print and electronic publications, timely information on fatherhood issues, and targeted resources that support OFA-funded Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage grantees. The NRFC Web site also provides essential information for other audiences interested in fatherhood issues."


After reading that of course I wanted to read more..and I began to navigate their website there is so much information on their website....


"Urban Institute:
Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs' successes and challenges.


While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities. The following are findings from the National Fatherhood Initiative's (NFI) Father Facts:


•Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.


•Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.


•24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.


•Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.


•43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.


•Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.


•Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.


•About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father's home.


•Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.


•From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable."
 
The information goes on and on... You should definitely check it out!!!!