Well first off I would like to say that I am sorry for offending or hurting anyone in my last post, I was just stating how I felt about a situation that happened to ME, and I felt in a way I got played and it hurt. I always remember my mom teaching me there are three sides to every story yours, mine and the truth. Since being in the hospital I have been plagued by a lot of what ifs? What if I hadn't opened up to that individual/ what if i hadn't snapped that day? What if I never wrote that last post? But that is all done now, and you live and you learn and I have defnitely learned a lot. But thankfully through this situation I have been able to sift through and determine the people who are important to me and I them.
I have a blessing in disguise. Two days ago my father became very ill and was rushed to the Emergency room in Miami. I got a call from my grandmother around 10:00pm that she didnt really know what was going on but that they were going to have to do emergency surgery. So my mother and I quickly packed a bag and got in the car on our way. When I got there they were just about to take him back into surgery and he was kind of out of it, but he woke up enough to see me, and needless to say he was shocked. Words can't describe how much love I felt for him at that moment, not to mention fear; especially since I asked the surgent what is going on, and his response was "I dont know." My mind started racing, me like most people am afraid of hospitals and doctors, and needless to say his words where not comforting. That waiting room was the most exhausting feeling, I attempted to to study a quiz the following morning with no sucess. After trying to take little naps, and drink hot chocalte and pacing up and down the halls the doctor finally entered the room to tell us he was in recovery. My grandmother and I rushed to the recovery room to see him, and although he was still out of it a little, he looked shocked all over again to see me, but his tuime with a glimpse of excitement. He keep holding my hand, I just became so overwhelmed that the water works started. The worst part is now over, but no one knows how scared I was, evenafter the doctor came in the waiting room and said its done and everything is going to be okay. After he left recovery and went him to his ward/room he still looked shock to see me there, and we got to talk for a little bit. When we were getting ready to leave the hospital he looked up at me reached his arm out for a hug and said "I love you," it took everything in me not to start again. While I would have like to have met on better circumstances I really think this is a stepping stone to a better relationship, and i have spoken to him everyday since the surgery.
The same day all this happened I had my first counseling session, and it went very well, it was more me talking and letting her know about me,but we are now going to meet every tuesday. Also I found my older sister on facebook, that may not sound like a big deal but I have not seen or spoken to her in years and I must say I missed her and my nephew.... so now we have exchanged numbers and we are going to try and communicate more...
Now there is not where to go but UP!