My Unstable Cradle?

The fifth year of my life was one that changed my life. A year that would be a stepping stone in determining my purpose. You think what could happen to a five year old that would be that life altering? That was the year my mom left my dad! So my dad turned around and left me!! However like any absent co-star he always managed to make a rare appearance to mentally and emotionally abuse me. While keeping enough distance to not become involved but close enough to hear of my accomplishments. A man of very little words he always remembered the ones to cripple and destroy me to the core, leaving my heart in a bucket of tears alongside my confidence, encouragement, innocence,and childhood. Every time I rebuilt my courage and my sanity he always managed to play the leading role to break it back down again. i needed and outlet and that is when I began my secret love affair with the arts! It helped rebuild that confidence he abolished. Until I got diagnosed with a disease that caused me to go legally blind within a month.I thought art was walking out of my life for good. Until through the loss of my eyesight I discover my vision.  Now I dedicate my life to others like me encouraging and inspiring through my testimony!!!!

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I have been told I've got some thick a** blood flowing through my veins
Thick like the head of the ignorant b**** I had to teach after she told me...
"locks are disgusting niggers get them after not washing their hair for a long time."
See that lesson played over and over in mind
I mean as foolish as she sounded I'm surprised she even knew to call them locks
That day like some others my blood got so thick it began to form clots
I became so angry my stomach turned into a million knots
Getting so upset, I went to a place inside I had never been before
A place with blood cold like ice, kind of like the emotions i feel towards life
I have been told the blood in my veins runs deep
Deep like the hatred I feel for my father after he called me a WHORE!!!!
Taking me back to that place, only this time it wass all to familiar to me
With needles sticking trying to break that ice, i knew i been there before, I had walked this floor
I have been told that the blood in my veins pumps strong
Strong like the strength it took to go perform every night
Pulling green from places my veins should never have to see nor feel
Strength to live another day forgetting about yesterday
Attempting to forget those blood stained walls

Some other people tell me that running through my veins is some thin blood
Thin like the water in the tears I cry
The tears that ran over the bruises and then into the cuts
Cuts I received because I was told I was a slut
Moving on no longer cuts but progressing into sores
Some say the blood in my vein is shallow
Shallow like the wanna be pre-madonnas
I was forced to associate with in order to prove my intelligence
Them trifling heifers who were the true sluts, but pretended to come accross elegant
Others tell me the blood in my veins pumps very weak
Weak and slow like my heartbeat after multiple close but UNSUCCESSFUL suicide attempts
Now I try to overdose, flowing lyrics throw my veins
his struggle for the feeling of ecstasy is driving me insane
Keeps bringing back to these familiar places
Blood from my sores over flowing in the room
Attempting to donate to save a life.
But turned away, I can't give life when mine is already taken
Nobody wants whats tainted
You heard my story, would you?????
I know you don't, and if you think you take this lyrical blood then you must be mistaken