Dear Parent: Watch Yo Mouth!

I was recently tagged in this photo on Facebook!
What benefit can you speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of, better yet to the child do?

Not only does this behavior cripple a child, it in most cases causes the child to form those thought and feelings towards the alienated or absent parent. Its not fair to the child, or fair to any relationship that the alienated parent is trying to establish, if they are! 

I have noticed that some single mothers latch on to their children, particularly the boys. In an attempt to help them be leaders in the future they make them the head of a household at an early age. So not only does that child not have a father in their life they miss out on being a child all together. The mother becomes dependent on that child, in attempts to do so they posion their head against their father.

Not to say that all mothers are to blame some father pave the road for themselves. After being tagged of course people began commenting, one child wrote

          "What if the child (me) sees that he's an idiot and realizes it takes nothing away from me as a valued human being. The writing is on da wall. He shows me how much he loves me everyday. I can't tell you the last time I've seen him and he literally lives 5 mins away from me. God sees it all!"

My mother never said a negative word about my father, and she recently found out all the things he was doing to me and still hasn't said a word. My father never needed a spokes person, he portrayed who he was and how he felt about me all on his own. It goes go both ways my father use to attempt to plant seeds that my mother was and is a bad person, but at the end of the day she was there and he was not! The only thing my mom says now is for me not to contact him, until he learns how to be adult and can have a converstation without making you cry.  Not to say the pain is any less when your told, but a small part of me wishes she would have told me that when I was younger instead of letting me discover him for myself. There is way of going about it though, there is a way of offering understanding and a way of injecting bitterness and pain. So I ask again...

What benefit can you speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of, better yet to the child do?

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