A friend asked me over coffee the other day, "do you still blog?"

I know it has been months since I have posted any, but my life has taken drastic changes during that time, and I can not tell you how many blogs I have started and not finished and posted, due to LIFE! I am however commited to continuing to blog....

Where do I even begin with this movie? Most defnitely the best movie I have ever seen! Statistics show that women end up with a partner that resembles their father, and I do not mean physically but characteristics. However that does not mean it is ever womens destiny, but if every father stepped up and displayed the courage and faith displayed in Courageous, it would be the ultimate blessing.

I do not want to give away the movie becasue it is a must see, I literally cried the whole movie to see the compassion and pride these men took in becoming the best fathers and husbands they could possibly be through trails and tribulations.

Just think for a second how different the world would be today, children had a a role model that was actually their father, and his model was our one true heavenly Father.

Not only should every man watch this film,especially men with children, but women need to see it also. Men are meant to be the leader in their households, and in todays society that is lacking, especially since many are single parent households. I would  love for every man to make commitments similar to the ones the men in the movie made, in my opnion the day your child is born the commitment should have been made, if not earlier. Chlidren need guidance, and while it take a village to raise a child, it starts in the household and if that family unit is already broken, children explore other alternatives. There are to many boys claiming to men, and to many dads not being fathers, and it is time for them to STEP UP! 

"Where are you men of Courage?"

Be Blessed!!!

Recently a lot of truely amazing things have been happening in my life, I am currently work for a non-profit organization that has given me the oppurtunity to obtain my dream of being an artist while working with kids at the same time; while still keeping the same focuses of Unstable Cradle! I am finally getting back to my art(, which who ever truely knows me, understands that is my real love... and not only have I returned to my love I am actually making money for it(NOT THAT IT IS ABOUT THAT!). I am about to start my final year of school, graduating in May with my Bachelors in Business. With all this positivity fluding my life, negativity has been intruding my thoughts and my spirit constantly.

I have been truely battling this emotionally for sometime, while continuing to put on my normal brave face. The past 8 months I have learned a lot about who I am, and my actions. Everybody has the yerning to be accepted actually my pal wrote about that very thing this morning( I defnitely will not deny my yerning for the same thing, but this has become my complete downfall. I am a people pleaser... meaning I do anything within my abilities to accomadate others without ever taking into consideration my own needs. I can count on one hand how often how this worked out for me, but I would need a hundred hands to count how many times it has caught me in sticky situations. No dont get it twisted I am not nagging or complaining abiout things I do for other becasue I like helping poeple... but I have a problem sometimes, where the answer should be "NO" or "NOT RITE NOW," or one of the other million and one excuses I get from the same people when I turn around and ask them for help... but I never do. I expect to be treated with the same respect I give you, my time is just as valuable as yours. I did not even realize how much this was happening until a friend pointed it out to me, and then continued to acknowlegde it everytime it reoccured. The sitauation has made me very weary and cautious of people, I always use to look for the good in people, but now I am just untrusting wether I have known you for years or not. I am starting to feel like paranoia is setting in. Anyway I am working on it.. but I know it will be a never ending battle becasue I am a giver, always have been.. I mean it is truely a blessing to be able to give rather than recieve?

- @MsChay84

Speaking of blessings, as I said previously a lot of really great things are happening to me.. but I just feel some kind of way about it all. For once my life is coming together and emotionally I feel like I am falling apart all over again. I know a large portion of it is me not being in the word like I know I should be. For a period of time I was really progressing and walking forward in regards to my relationship with the Lord, but recently I feel like I am at a stand still. I will tell you the reason I first started going to church, I had a friend who I had known for years and we lost contact, then one day her and her now husband walked into my store (bath & body works) and we started talking and catching up. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Then I started to see her more frequently in the store when ever I worked and sometimes she was just coming from church, well they always seem to be filled with so much joy. I was longing to feel that same joy I felt they had. This was also rite after I had gotten out the hospital and my father and I were still not on speaking terms. So I reached out to her, and basically invited myself to church with her. From day one as I have told you in previous post I loved it! I felt so welcome, and I was building a relationship with God, started serving in different ministries within the church, I even went out and bought myself a new Bible! I was feeling good again and things were looking up. But now that I have reached this abrupt hault I find myself looking down. I found myself beginning to pull away from everybody and church as a whole... while I never delibrately missed a service or two, I did not make the proper efforts. I am now trying to get back, and I know it is just the devil trying to stop me from recieving my blessing; but the devil is a LIAR!!!!  Another thing that caused me to stray, is whenever I do get closer to God and continue to build our relationship, I have these reoccuring dreams or shall I say nightmares, I dont even want to go into the dreams because they are so haunting and I refuse to even give the devil that kind of victory! 

I was actually talking to a good friend(@jojoleneee) of mine about this, who is also struggling with some of the same things. We have made a pact to come up with a Devotional plan, and we will basically checkin with eachother to make sure we are staying on track and weekly we will have bible studies together, so we can really dive into the word. I love my pal, and love have a christian friend to confide in... I truely wish I had more(not to say she is the only one!).

I am truely hoping this will help get me back on track and replenish my motivation. 

Fairytale Ending????

I am sure I could never imagine the suffering some foster kids endure, but there is always meant to be a light at the end of that tunnel.... adoption. But what happens when that adoption only leads to more suffering instead of that Annie fairytale ending. The other morning I woke up extremely early for a saturday, and decieded to watch the news for the first time in forever. There was a story dicussing the Florida Department of Children and Families and forster kids speaking out!
It is sad to say that some people adopt chldren for that check they will obtain every month ranging from $510-$570 monthly, instead looking out for the best interest of the children. It is like moving from one bad situation to the next... and as a child what do you do if you can not speak out for yourslef but expect a case worker to speak for you. This where I truely became appalled, when the director of DCF who's clip I show below basically says "it is what is" when it comes to children being abused after being adopted. While she attempted to expresss her piont in a more tactful manner it didnt really work out. While I may understand that the adoptive parents are not making this abuse blatant, but for her to basically shrug her shoulders of the situation of having more consistant check it absurd.
I was just enraged by the whole situation, while I have never been the situation I have friends and family members who have and I just taken back by her attitude to this tragic situation. I just though I would share with all of you....and see what you all think?

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The Perfect Stranger!!!

Imagine meeting the perfect stranger, and it being your father. Giacomo Knox last saw his father in 1975 and has not seen or spoken to him for 33 years. But in 2009 Giacomo was able to reconnect and spend "A Week With His Father," and film it for all of us to see.
I must say his reality series is a must see, it is so moving, and reaches so many levels.

For a really long time you all know, at least if you have been reading my blog, I have struggled with the relationship with my father and felt resentment towards him. I was not given or demand the opportunity Giacomo was, but like Giacomo through my faith I have found peace in the situation.
Gia,como's story was amazing becaus ehe found out a lot information that was told was not all together, and the best part was his father wanted to be in his life, where he was told the opposite. 
Going back to the post I wrote other day.

It took me a really long time to write this post because I just felt like no matter what I wrote I did not do it justice(still feel that way) because the webepisodes speak for themselves. And you all need to watch! It can be life changing if you let it!

Well I actually was able to connect with Mr. Knox, and was more than willing to do an interview with me, (I think that why it was so nerve racking). After you al watch his movement you should definitely read the interview to gain some more insight!

How did your faith and relationship with the lord strengthen your
situation with your dad?

I like to think that anyone who has strong faith in YHVH is
invincible.  I've seen many miracles happen simply because someone
believed and acted on the belief.  The only real obstacle to
meeting my dad was getting the finances together so I could shoot
the pilot.  We got right down to the wire, the money showed up!
But even before then, while I had great faith in YHVH, I believe He
was calling me to do this show and reunite with my father, so I
could tell other young men and women that fatherhood is important.
And to show was real forgiveness looks like - it starts with family.

Do you feel that since you have spent that week with your father you found
peace with the relationship?

Absolutely! I wanted to know him, know why he and my mother
split up, what he's been doing since we split up, and what kind
of relationship I could expect from him now that we're adults.
As time allows, I hope to spend a lot more time with him!

What advice do you have for people that are going through similar
situations but do not have the opportunity to meet their father?

First off, the only valid reason for not having an opportunity to
meet your father is because he's no longer alive.  Most resistant
people I've spoken to are either afraid or harbor some sort of
resentment toward their fathers, and it's understandable.

When a relationship breaks up, sometimes the truth is obscured as
to why a father leaves the home.  The best advice I can give is to
find out the truth, or at least your father's version of the truth.
 Seek him out and have an open mind. Hear his side of the story and
see if you'd like to pursue a relationship with him.

How has your relationship with your mother and her side of the family

To be honest, I think she's still a little annoyed with me for doing
this show, and I can understand.  There are some old wounds that
have never  healed, and perhaps the show will help along the healing
process with her as well.  She's happy that I created a show of this
caliber and very supportive of my efforts, however.
As far as my mother's family, I've not spoken to most of them at
length about the project.  It has caused me to look at them a little
differently, but again this show is about forgiveness.  Whatever
happened way back when I was 5 is over, and I harbor no resentment
toward any of the players involved.  That includes my mother!

Has your bond with your father grown since filming?
I believe we've bonded since filming the show!  He lives in my home
state of New Jersey, so it's hard to speak with him on a consistent
basis.  Again as time and my schedule allow, I will fly out or have
him fly out so we can spend some more quality time together.

Do you plan on continuing filming, showing the growing relationship
between you and your father?
My partner Julie House and I have toyed with the idea of filming
"father and son follow ups" as a way of encouraging the viewers to
pursue relationships with their fathers.  Once the show gets picked
up a by  network or cable station, they will make the final
determination.  I don't see it as being anything but a way to
enhance the program and further inspire the audience.

If you continue do you think you would ever get both of your parents
together to discuss what happened in the past?
Now that's an idea!  In my situation there is so much animosity
between my father and mother, that it seems impossible.  But as I'm
fond of saying, "there is nothing impossible with YHVH!"  The show
being about forgiveness, a reunion episode with the parents as a
follow up might encourage struggling couples to stay together as

How do you think this experience will impact you as a father if/when you
become one?From my upbringing, to the time I spent in the Marine Corps, to my
life since then and the show, I know that I will be an excellent
father.  One of the things necessary for a man to be a good father
is patience.  Even at 41 I'm learning more and more about patience,
and how it applies toward child-rearing.
It's quite clear that my father made some mistakes, otherwise there'd
be no show!  I know many of the things my mother told me, and many of
the things he admitted to doing, and I will use them and my personal
experiences in raising my kids.

At what point in time did you establish your relationship with god? Like
what led you to him?

Wow, this could be the longest response ever!  I grew up catholic and
was very religious.  Religion however hates being questioned, and
since that time I've learned to see religious traditions as a
construct of man.  I left catholicism and floundered for 3 years in
"the world" before YHVH (G-d) broke me down to my knees and gave me a
choice between Him and the world.
After sometime in the Foursquare movement, I found it incomplete and
lacking real spiritual foundation.  And yes, many man-made constructs.
My faith now reincorporates the Hebraic elements including Torah (The Law
of G-d or First 5 books of the Bible) that were removed from Christianity
by man-made tradition and Antisemitism.  I no longer celebrate Christmas,
Easter or other religious holidays not featured in Scripture, and I no
longer worship YHVH on Sunday, opting for Saturday Sabbath rest and
worship and communing with the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit).  Essentially
I call myself a Torah-Observant follower of Yahushua (Jesus), and opt to
use the Scripturally correct Set-Apart names:  YHVH, etc.
What led me to Him was the same thing that we are all searching for:  to
fill that "G-d shaped hole" in our heart.  Some try to do it with drugs,
alcohol, sex; some do it with gods that can't or won't help them, I did it
with the One who put on human flesh and died in my place.  What an awesome
love story!
I would encourage all Christians who believe we are under Grace and not
The Law to do their independent research as to what The Law actually says.
Most of us already obey G-d's Law - Yahushua died so we wouldn't have to
suffer the punishment for accidental disobedience.  The Law was never set
aside by Yahushua, in fact He confirmed it.  What we are no longer under
are the man-made traditions, which are impossible to keep (!) and make
null and void the Word of G-d.

Blow A Bubble!

Many if you may not know,(or maybe you do) that Parent Alienation Aawareness Day is fast approaching us on April 25th, 2011. For those who do not know parental alienation is a social dynamic when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible. This is usually a result of extreme marriage conflict, seperation, or divorce. These feelings may be influenced by negative comments by the other parent and by the characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, of the rejected parent.
Displaying a group of behaviors that are damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent.
 It may not seem like exactly what Unsatble Cradle is about, but in a way it is, its not all about absentee fathers, this dynamic, is leaving the same effect on a child. I encourage everybody to become involved, and do what they can. I have listed numerous event below taking place all over the world on April 25th, and if there is not one in your area create one!

Blow a bubble for a hurting child!


Time Monday, April 25 · 12:00pm - 2:00pm Poland and abroad , ,
contact: Parental Alienation Awareness Committee,
We invite you to read articles about Parental Alienation and its negative effects for children, parents and society on our website: They are Polish written, but they can be easily translated into other languages, when you use Internet browser tools. Because of lack at primary PAS conception and strong and effective propaganda attacks against PAS conception and its author we do not recommend to promote activity against PAS to do not damage effects of your efforts on Parental Alienation Awareness Day.

'Bubbles of LOVE'
Monday, April 25, 2011 12:00pm
Tweed Shire Council - Murwillumbah Office - Civil Murwillumbah, New South Wales, Australia
contact: ,
Parental Alienation Awareness Day!!! On April 25th 2011, After the Anzac Day Parade & the official ceremonies have finished. At 12Pm I will start ...blowing ..'Bubbles of LoVe'....all are welcome!!! to come join me, to help bring world wide awareness to Parental Alienation. The PAAO Brochure will be available for interested people. Thankyou Kindly, Debby Cook

Fun in Park, theme "Bringing Families Together" In support of International Parental Alienation Awareness Day April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011 1:30pm
Victoria Park Hamilton, , Bermuda
contact: Edward Tavares,
We will be holding a, Fun in the Park, theme "Bringing Families Together". Minister Glen Blakeney JP. MP. of Youth, Sports, and Families, will be reading the proclamation. Also, Senator Susann Holshouser will speak and Dr. Ernest Peets will give an opening prayer. There will be games, fun castles, Muppet show, magic shows, train rides and prizes. In addition, we are working towards bringing the awareness of "Bubbles of Love April 25" noon day in Bermuda. We are happy to join hands with the world to bring this awareness and wish everyone a great success, to make the world a better place for our children.

Red Deer PA Awareness Day & Bubbles of Love BBQ!
Monday, April 25, 2011 11:00 am M
SOBEY'S eastvies, 3849 - 40th AVE Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
contact: Rhonda or Craig,
Sobey's had generously sponsored our Bubbles of Love Day event! They will be hosting a BBQ at their store location as listed. We will blow those Bubbles of Love at Noon, with Panda Abuzz, face painting for the kids by Annie, an information table, books and DVD's on Parental Alienation will be for sale and more Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles!!! All Welcome!!! Hope to see you there! Co hosted by PARK and FSCA!!

Drop In
Monday, April 25, 2011 1pm
#207-230 West Broadway Vancouver, BC, Canada
contact: Dr. Jerry Arthur-Wong,
The drop in will be hosted by the BC Men's Resource Centre. All are welcome.

Toronto Bubbles of Love Day
Monday, April 25, 2011 Noon-2
Yonge & Dundas Square Toronto, Ontario, Canada
contact: Sarvy Emo,
Join us on April 25th at Yonge & Dundas square at the corner of Yonge and Dundas, across from the Eaton Center, on Monday April 15th to blow soap bubbles of love on Parental Alienation Awareness Day. We will be there at 11:30, ready to blow those bubbles at noon when the whistle blows. Bring your kids, your dog, your family and dont' forget your soap bubbles! Flash Mobs welcome!

Red Deer PA Awareness Day hosted by PARK- PA Risks Kids,
Saturday, April 23, 2011 12:00 pm
Parkland Mall, 67st and 50th Ave Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
contact: Rhonda Pisanello,
There will be an information table set up inside the mall with Panda Abuzz Mascot handing out Easter candy for kids and the Tree of Love. Books and DVD's about parental alienation will be for sale along with PAAO brochure handouts. PARK members are hosting the event. PARK is a local support group in Red Deer for families going through Parental Alienation and they operate under the umbrella of the non-profit, Family Services of Central Alberta. All welcome!

Love Is For Everyone! Bubbles of Love
Centennial Park Accessible Playground Barrie, Ontario, Canada
contact: Paulette MacDonald,
Love Is For Everyone! Write a Love Poem for your Child or Children and make a sign to post it on with pictures from when you were together… Bubbles of Love (Don’t forget to bring your bubbles and be creative!) – Children have the right to love and be loved by both their parents! We will have information available on Parental Alienation…

Public Information Desk for PAAD 2011, April 25
Saturday, April 23, 2011 11:00am
Biebergasse Frankfurt, , Gemany
contact: Thilo Muehlberger,
We have a public information desk with posters, flyers, bubbles an so on in the inner city of Frankfurt. See our press release for this event also:

Poland and abroad , , Poland
contact: Maciej Wojewódka,
I invite you for discussion about Parental Alienation and its negative effects for children, parents and society on Internet forum (Polish), which is linked below: Because of lack at primary PAS conception and strong and effective propaganda attacks against PAS conception and its author I do not recommend to promote activity against PAS conception to do not damage effects of your efforts on Parental Alienation Awareness Day.

Easter Bubbles of Love
plac Szczepañski, Kraków, Poland Kraków, , Poland
contact: Mr Maciej Wojewódka,
We are inviting you to blow soap bubbles at noon for at least 10 minutes on April 25th 2011 with us. We will be blowing small and big soap bubbles to show that love carry us high and it can be break, as it happens because of Parental Alienation. We will be there already at 11.30 a.m.

Dia Internacional para a Consciencialização sobre a Alienação Parental
Monday, April 25, 2011 0h
Apartado 9865, Postal Code 1911-701 Lisbon, Porto, Coimbra, Évora, , Portugal
contact: ,

Bubbles of LOVE in Sweden
Monday, April 25, 2011 11:30 AM
Entrance Domus Kristianstad, , Sweden
contact: Hans-Inge Hansson,
Domus entrance 25 April 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. bring the kids, family and friends and show that children's best interests must come first and not one parents. Bubbles will be blown starting at noon to show that just like bubbles, LOVE cannot and should not be contained.

Mothers For Justice Peaceful Protest for Parental Alienation Awareness
Monday, April 25, 2011 3pm
1315 10th Street Sacramento, CA, USA
contact: Mothers for Justice,
Join Mothers For Justice to protest peacefully with us and advocate for the rights of parental alienated and abused children in California. We will be at the capitol on April 25th at 3pm-4pm rain or shine. For more information, go to

Gathering of Family and Friends of Targeted Parents
Monday, April 25, 2011 7:00pm
Local Restaurant Rochester, NY, USA
contact: Tiana May,
Friends and family of members of the Rochester Parental Alienation Support and Resource Group will be gathering at a local restaurant on April 25th to commemorate the day. Event will be covered by a local cable-access show. Pink and blue bows will be placed on doorsteps, lamp posts, and trees during the month of April while fliers will be posted throughout the community to promote Parental Alienation Awareness Day. Bubbles will be blown at the event and brochures made available.

Bubble and Candlelight Visual for Parental Alienation Awareness Day
Monday, April 25, 2011 9:30pm
Broad & Parrish Philadelphia, PA, USA
contact: Leigh,
Bubbles will be blown and candles will be lit to open the eyes of this awful form of child abuse that seems to be overlooked and misunderstood. The ladies will be given bubbles and the men candles. A prayer shall be said for the victims and literature passed out.

Monday, April 25, 2011 11:00am
Central Park in Shops of Southlake SOUTHLAKE, TEXAS, USA
contact: WENDY ARCHER,
LOVE takes us all higher and the bubbles represent that LOVE. Just like bubbles, LOVE can not and should not be contained. Every child should be free to show LOVE and affection for both of their parents. Can you imagine the pain a child feels when they must "contain" their LOVE and affection for one of their parents? Remember the simple JOY of blowing bubbles? Children should get to experience the JOY of loving both parents! Please join us for BUBBLES OF LOVE DAY on April 25th and help us blow bubbles in support of children having the JOY of LOVE! Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW is family and pet friendly. Please email Wendy Archer for more information or to volunteer for this very special event.

4th Annual Parental Alienation Awareness Day Candlelight Vigil
Friday, April 29, 2011 6:00 PM
South Steps State Capitol 1900 Kanawha Blvd East Charleston, WV, USA
contact: Kelly Rice,

Parental Alienation Awareness Day
Monday, April 25, 2011 8:30 am
West side steps of Marion County Courthouse 100 Hi Salem, OR, USA
contact: Kevin,
Make a poster with photos of you and your child when you were together and meet us in front of the Marion County Courthouse to share your love and spread the word about this abuse that needs to be stopped. April is child abuse awareness month and alienating a child is a sever form of abuse. Every child has the right to love and to be shown love by both of its parents. We’ll be there from 8:30am to noon.

Bubbles of love
Noon - 4pm
Se Brentwood Park Portland, Or., USA
contact: todd maudlin,
Brentwood Park on Se. 60th & Duke. Noon-4 with music, food, drinks, bubble blowing, and literature on Parental Alienation. Also will be a live number to call for a FREE one on one phone consultation for Parental Alienation support!! Come have fun with the community and blow bubbles to spread love to the kids and parents effected by this horrible abuse everyday. Contact:Todd @

International Bubbles of Love Committee
Monday, April 25, 2011 Noon
contact: Bubbles of Love Committee,
We are inviting you to blow soap bubbles at noon your time for at least 10 minutes on April 25th 2011 with us. Join us to show that love carry us higher and it cannot be contained, as it happens because of Parental Alienation. We are inviting you to join to our International Bubbles of Love Committee as well. At our Committee we share knowledge, experience and ideas on how to make the Bubbles of Love Campaign the most effective way, everywhere.

1100 S. Federal Drive, Suite 7
Boynton Beach, FL
Tel. 561-509-6112
A ribbon cutting ceremony hosted by the Boynton Beach Chamber of Commerce in acknowledgement of Parental Alienation Awareness Day.
Proclamations will be delivered beginning at noon by Palm Beach County Commissioner,Steve Abrams and Boynton Beach Mayor, Jose Rodriguez. with at the Toby Center. Additional invited guests include Congressman Alan West. Rabbi Barry Silver will give the convocation.
Meet and greet professoinals, researchers,parents advocates. Students from Lynn University who are majors in Social Work, Pre Law and Psychology are also expected. They want to become part of the Toby Center summer internship program.
Refreshments will be provided.