" Why Did My Daddy Leave?" : Join Them!!!

Don't you just love a good panel discussion? What better topic to discuss, then the fatherless epidemic that is effecting so much of our youth today! The Fatherless Generation did it once and now it's time to be back at it! In less than two short weeks in Atlanta, Georgia a great of panelist are ready to take center stage and discuss what is really going on with our fatherless society! This is where conversation meets healing! Trust this event is not to be missed!

Event Details

Date

October 6, 2012

Venue

Gordon Biersch
3242 Peachtree Rd NW
Atlanta, Georgia
30305

Time

12:00- 3:00 p.m.

Hosted By

Fatherless Generation Foundation

" With an emphasis on 'Responsible Fatherhood' coming from as high up as the White House, FGF has embarked on a campaign that not only heals, but gives a voice to a generation silenced by an absent father and emotionally wrecked by rejection and abandonment. FGF provides services and programming permitting the fatherless to heal from their 'fatherless experience' Most importantly, FGF is actively engaged in the mission of re-engaging biological fathers back into the lives of their children."

Amazing work they are doing in and for the community!  Also check out their blog!

We R Fatherless

Don't forget October 6, 2012!!!!

Engagement to Move On

As many of you may have heard "I'm Engaged!" Of course friends and family are asking me all kinds of exciting questions such as my theme, color, venue, dresses, favors and dont even get me started about the engagment party. After everyone;s intial shock and excitment high started to wear off they started to hit me with the deep questions such as, who is going to give me away, and walk me down the isle?

The loyalty and tradition in me without hesitation gives the honor to my dad, however my heart tells me he doesnt deserve it. It took me almost a week and a half after my Babeos popped the question, before I could even get a hold of him to let him know. Despite my countless attempts! 

After I finally told him, there was not joy at all, he actually yelled at me told me  we were stupid and no clue what we were doing... says the man who has never been married!

The definition of insanity is to repeat the same act countless times but expecting different results, I guess when it comes to my father I am completely insane!  There are only so many times I can let him back in expecting different results.

Since that conversation I have not spoken to him, this was the first year ever that I have not called him for Father's Day, but I have to what is best for me an my mental health. I continue to respect him, but now from a distance. I have allowed my father to impact and effect my emotions for way to long. I am only making myself a victim when I know how him stand, but expect him to change. Do not get it twisted I know God can change anyone, his mercy is like no other. But as of today my father is not falling inthat category of wanting to change.

The questions or shall I say concerns about him walking be down the isle have only thickened. Many are saying that if I do not allow him to do it not am I just erasing him, but that whole side of my family. I have been given so many ideas and "suggestions" on what to do. Some say to allow one of my uncles do it, but to me that casues more harm than good, how offended would my father really be knowing that I did not want him to give me away but instead I want one of his brothers to do it. Then I thought I would ask an uncle on my mother's side to do it who was actually my legal gaurdian for a year and has always been apart of my life, but that goes back to not having a representative from my fathers side. Now they are saying I should allow my grandmother to do it. Thank God I have a years and half to make this desicion, I do not think it is meant to be this hard! Who knows I have got almost two years, maybe my dad will become a different person by them and will earn the title of my father aand the honor to walk me down the isle. Until then I have made an enegagement to move on!

Sister Love

I have the tendency to be stuck in my own feelings sometimes, and I begin to dwell on certain aspects of my life. Lately my sisters have been very heavy on my mind. When I was little I use to beg my mom for a sibling; I longed for that "normal" sibling rivalry and love. She always told me I was more than enough, and she’s never having anymore! I have been blessed to make some great friends over the years that are practically sisters to me, but it is never the same. When I was 7 two years after my parents had officially separated I was in Jersey at a funeral with my father, a day that I will never forget. My father was driving on the way to the burial site. I was in the back seat on the left hand side, while another girl who I later found out was 2 years older than me was sitting to the right of me. We are following the long line of cars when my father looks through the rearview mirror, and say “Pussneck(my nick name) , this is Shante.” I smiled and waved “hi,” as he continued to say “she is YOUR older sister.” At first I had no grasp on what he had said, in my naive mind, she couldn’t be my sister, we didn’t live together, she is older how come I have never met her, grandad always said I was the first grandchild… so my mind landed on denial. He continued to reassure me that she was in fact my sister and that I should talk to her…

I could only imagine what was going through her mind, I wonder if she already knew who I was? How she felt? Was she in denial too?

The rest was a bit of a blur, it’s funny how I forget what I eat for lunch, but that day rings through so vivid in my mind still. I never really spoke to or saw her again until my freshman year of high school. Everyone use to say we looked so much alike, her freshman class picture and mine were identical! There was no denying my site alone that we were related. I still have hers ironically in a "bestfriend" picture frame on my dressing table; I guess I hope one day all four  of us will be bestfirends. Oh she wasn’t the only one, of course by this time I accepted she was my sister and had a better understanding of how; after finding out I have two other sisters Brea and Tiffany they are younger than me though. So needless to say I did not have that “typical” sister relationship or experience. Luckily I was able to see my little sisters more often, with their countless trips to South Florida and our trips we went on together! At one point they were coming up every summer, so I formed somewhat of a sisterly bound during the summer time, but I always had an older sister that I had no contact with and no one seemed to know how to contact her.

Then the wonderful world of technology and social media intervened. I had been searching for her on social media multiple times, but come up empty every time. After years of no luck; I had begun to accept that I may never get to know her, or find her. Then one day I saw her mom comment on another relatives post. I instantly requested her and asked “where and how is Shante?” Which at the time I think I was spelling incorrectly.  The issue was I was looking for her under my last name, because Tiffany, Brea, and myself have our father’s last name so I assumed Shante would too, but I stand corrected. So of course I found her and requested her;when I ofund her she accepted it was almost like finding out I had a sister for the first time again. This all took place a little over a year ago, and while this was taking place our dad was extremely ill, so as soon as she accepted I asked for her number so I could let her know what was going on. I will admit it was nerve racking and awkward to ask her for her number, it was like talking to a complete stranger, who I just found after 7 years and asking her for her personal information. CREEPY!lol!

The initial conversation was even more awkward, I remember I was on the Metro-Rail on my way home from visiting our dad at the hospital and whispered to myself it’s now or never! I called and was a little shocked that she answered, because I know I don’t answer foreign numbers, if your not saved in my contacts, good luck! As crazy as it was to talk to her on the phone, and inspite of the fact I was delivering bad news to someone who idealy was a stranger; saying OUR father is in ICU! I was relieved and happy to hear her voice and alk to her!

While we are now Facebook friends I still have not seen her in over 7 years, and we do not communicate as much as I would like,., I think since that phone call I havent spoken to her on the phone. Most people don’t even know I am not an only child. We have made attempts at trying to get know each other but I don’t think it will ever be the same until one of us makes that trip!

Hopefully as we all get older we will begin talk more often, recently there has been some more frequent communication on Facebook, but Tiffany doesn’t have one so I have not been able to contact her in a while either. While I know we may never be one big perfect happy family, I pray that we have some form of a "sisterly" relationship!

I LOVE YOU SISTERS!!!

Turn it Around

God's blessings are endless, and He has a way of restoring faith and hope in the world. I am sure a lot of you watched the show The Voice last night especially since it was on directly after the Superbowl. If you watched it you saw and heard part of the story of JESSE CAMPBELL: a devoted father and as you can tell a spectacular singer. During the quick glimpse we saw of his life, his wife walked out on their family, and Campbell with nowhere to turn with his daughter became homeless, and then eventually moved in with Campbell's brother where he then got on his feet. The brief story of his life renewed faith and compassion within me, so I wanted to know more. So very often the posts I have written on here are about a fahter walking out on the family, or abandoning his responsibilties not just as a dad but a true father, but even when most would have felt defeated Campbell kept the faith.

Campbell's story resembles Mandate although signed to Capital Records and having two hits, he did not let obstacles in the industry alongside the abrupt changes in his life discourage him, and now on The Voice he is here to do it all again for his daughter.  Campbell stands out to me becasue he truly puts his daughter first, I checked his twitter the morning after the show aired and his tweet declared how busy his night had been with the influx of twitter mentions, and facebook request not to mention phone calls, but he wrote his daughter comes first and he would respond to all of that when she was in school.

His story shows us that you never know what tomorrow can bring, and what God truly has in store for you. Success is not always about finances, and it not the most important thing in life.

Look out for Jesse Campbell on The Voice.
Follow him @singjessesing
Check out his website for information and his blog. http://www.jessecampbell.com/

COURAGEOUS

A friend asked me over coffee the other day, "do you still blog?"

I know it has been months since I have posted any, but my life has taken drastic changes during that time, and I can not tell you how many blogs I have started and not finished and posted, due to LIFE! I am however commited to continuing to blog....
                                                                                         

Where do I even begin with this movie? Most defnitely the best movie I have ever seen! Statistics show that women end up with a partner that resembles their father, and I do not mean physically but characteristics. However that does not mean it is ever womens destiny, but if every father stepped up and displayed the courage and faith displayed in Courageous, it would be the ultimate blessing.

I do not want to give away the movie becasue it is a must see, I literally cried the whole movie to see the compassion and pride these men took in becoming the best fathers and husbands they could possibly be through trails and tribulations.

Just think for a second how different the world would be today, children had a a role model that was actually their father, and his model was our one true heavenly Father.

Not only should every man watch this film,especially men with children, but women need to see it also. Men are meant to be the leader in their households, and in todays society that is lacking, especially since many are single parent households. I would  love for every man to make commitments similar to the ones the men in the movie made, in my opnion the day your child is born the commitment should have been made, if not earlier. Chlidren need guidance, and while it take a village to raise a child, it starts in the household and if that family unit is already broken, children explore other alternatives. There are to many boys claiming to men, and to many dads not being fathers, and it is time for them to STEP UP! 


"Where are you men of Courage?"

Fairytale Ending????

I am sure I could never imagine the suffering some foster kids endure, but there is always meant to be a light at the end of that tunnel.... adoption. But what happens when that adoption only leads to more suffering instead of that Annie fairytale ending. The other morning I woke up extremely early for a saturday, and decieded to watch the news for the first time in forever. There was a story dicussing the Florida Department of Children and Families and forster kids speaking out!
It is sad to say that some people adopt chldren for that check they will obtain every month ranging from $510-$570 monthly, instead looking out for the best interest of the children. It is like moving from one bad situation to the next... and as a child what do you do if you can not speak out for yourslef but expect a case worker to speak for you. This where I truely became appalled, when the director of DCF who's clip I show below basically says "it is what is" when it comes to children being abused after being adopted. While she attempted to expresss her piont in a more tactful manner it didnt really work out. While I may understand that the adoptive parents are not making this abuse blatant, but for her to basically shrug her shoulders of the situation of having more consistant check it absurd.
I was just enraged by the whole situation, while I have never been the situation I have friends and family members who have and I just taken back by her attitude to this tragic situation. I just though I would share with all of you....and see what you all think?

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The Perfect Stranger!!!

Imagine meeting the perfect stranger, and it being your father. Giacomo Knox last saw his father in 1975 and has not seen or spoken to him for 33 years. But in 2009 Giacomo was able to reconnect and spend "A Week With His Father," and film it for all of us to see.

I must say his reality series is a must see, it is so moving, and reaches so many levels.

For a really long time you all know, at least if you have been reading my blog, I have struggled with the relationship with my father and felt resentment towards him. I was not given or demand the opportunity Giacomo was, but like Giacomo through my faith I have found peace in the situation.

Gia,como's story was amazing becaus ehe found out a lot information that was told was not all together, and the best part was his father wanted to be in his life, where he was told the opposite. 
Going back to the post I wrote other day.

It took me a really long time to write this post because I just felt like no matter what I wrote I did not do it justice(still feel that way) because the webepisodes speak for themselves. And you all need to watch! It can be life changing if you let it!

Trailer: http://youtu.be/uQ6kTJrbrdY
http://www.aweekwithmyfather.com/

Well I actually was able to connect with Mr. Knox, and was more than willing to do an interview with me, (I think that why it was so nerve racking). After you al watch his movement you should definitely read the interview to gain some more insight!

ENJOY!!!

How did your faith and relationship with the lord strengthen your
situation with your dad?
I like to think that anyone who has strong faith in YHVH is

invincible.  I've seen many miracles happen simply because someone
believed and acted on the belief.  The only real obstacle to
meeting my dad was getting the finances together so I could shoot
the pilot.  We got right down to the wire, the money showed up!
But even before then, while I had great faith in YHVH, I believe He
was calling me to do this show and reunite with my father, so I
could tell other young men and women that fatherhood is important.
And to show was real forgiveness looks like - it starts with family.

Do you feel that since you have spent that week with your father you found
peace with the relationship?
Absolutely! I wanted to know him, know why he and my mother

split up, what he's been doing since we split up, and what kind
of relationship I could expect from him now that we're adults.
As time allows, I hope to spend a lot more time with him!

What advice do you have for people that are going through similar
situations but do not have the opportunity to meet their father?
First off, the only valid reason for not having an opportunity to

meet your father is because he's no longer alive.  Most resistant
people I've spoken to are either afraid or harbor some sort of
resentment toward their fathers, and it's understandable.

When a relationship breaks up, sometimes the truth is obscured as
to why a father leaves the home.  The best advice I can give is to
find out the truth, or at least your father's version of the truth.
 Seek him out and have an open mind. Hear his side of the story and
see if you'd like to pursue a relationship with him.

How has your relationship with your mother and her side of the family
changed?
To be honest, I think she's still a little annoyed with me for doing

this show, and I can understand.  There are some old wounds that
have never  healed, and perhaps the show will help along the healing
process with her as well.  She's happy that I created a show of this
caliber and very supportive of my efforts, however.
As far as my mother's family, I've not spoken to most of them at
length about the project.  It has caused me to look at them a little
differently, but again this show is about forgiveness.  Whatever
happened way back when I was 5 is over, and I harbor no resentment
toward any of the players involved.  That includes my mother!

Has your bond with your father grown since filming?
I believe we've bonded since filming the show!  He lives in my home

state of New Jersey, so it's hard to speak with him on a consistent
basis.  Again as time and my schedule allow, I will fly out or have
him fly out so we can spend some more quality time together.

Do you plan on continuing filming, showing the growing relationship
between you and your father?My partner Julie House and I have toyed with the idea of filming

"father and son follow ups" as a way of encouraging the viewers to
pursue relationships with their fathers.  Once the show gets picked
up a by  network or cable station, they will make the final
determination.  I don't see it as being anything but a way to
enhance the program and further inspire the audience.

If you continue do you think you would ever get both of your parents
together to discuss what happened in the past?Now that's an idea!  In my situation there is so much animosity

between my father and mother, that it seems impossible.  But as I'm
fond of saying, "there is nothing impossible with YHVH!"  The show
being about forgiveness, a reunion episode with the parents as a
follow up might encourage struggling couples to stay together as
well.

How do you think this experience will impact you as a father if/when you

become one?From my upbringing, to the time I spent in the Marine Corps, to my

life since then and the show, I know that I will be an excellent
father.  One of the things necessary for a man to be a good father
is patience.  Even at 41 I'm learning more and more about patience,
and how it applies toward child-rearing.
It's quite clear that my father made some mistakes, otherwise there'd
be no show!  I know many of the things my mother told me, and many of
the things he admitted to doing, and I will use them and my personal
experiences in raising my kids.

At what point in time did you establish your relationship with god? Like
what led you to him?
Wow, this could be the longest response ever!  I grew up catholic and

was very religious.  Religion however hates being questioned, and
since that time I've learned to see religious traditions as a
construct of man.  I left catholicism and floundered for 3 years in
"the world" before YHVH (G-d) broke me down to my knees and gave me a
choice between Him and the world.
After sometime in the Foursquare movement, I found it incomplete and
lacking real spiritual foundation.  And yes, many man-made constructs.
My faith now reincorporates the Hebraic elements including Torah (The Law
of G-d or First 5 books of the Bible) that were removed from Christianity
by man-made tradition and Antisemitism.  I no longer celebrate Christmas,
Easter or other religious holidays not featured in Scripture, and I no
longer worship YHVH on Sunday, opting for Saturday Sabbath rest and
worship and communing with the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit).  Essentially
I call myself a Torah-Observant follower of Yahushua (Jesus), and opt to
use the Scripturally correct Set-Apart names:  YHVH, etc.
What led me to Him was the same thing that we are all searching for:  to
fill that "G-d shaped hole" in our heart.  Some try to do it with drugs,
alcohol, sex; some do it with gods that can't or won't help them, I did it
with the One who put on human flesh and died in my place.  What an awesome
love story!
I would encourage all Christians who believe we are under Grace and not
The Law to do their independent research as to what The Law actually says.
Most of us already obey G-d's Law - Yahushua died so we wouldn't have to
suffer the punishment for accidental disobedience.  The Law was never set
aside by Yahushua, in fact He confirmed it.  What we are no longer under
are the man-made traditions, which are impossible to keep (!) and make
null and void the Word of G-d.

Blood of Lyrics II

I have been told I've got some thick a** blood flowing through my veins

Thick like the head of the ignorant b**** I had to teach after she told me...

"locks are disgusting niggers get them after not washing their hair for a long time."

See that lesson played over and over in mind

I mean as foolish as she sounded I'm suprised she even knew to call them locks

That day like some others my blood got so thick it began to form clotts

I became so angry my stomach turned into a million knots

Getting so upset, I went to a place inside I had never been before

A place with blood cold like ice, kind of like the emotions i feel towards life

I have been told the blood in my veins runs deep

Deep like the hatred I feel for my father after he called me a WHORE!!!!

Taking me back to that place, only this time it wass all to familar to me

With needles sticking trying to break that ice, i knew i been there before, I had walked this floor

I have been told that the blood in my veins pumps strong

Strong like the strength it took to go perform every night

Pulling green from places my veins should never have to see nor feel

Strength to live another day forgetting about yesterday

Attempting to forget those blood stained walls

Some other people tell me that running through my veins is some thin blood

Thin like the water in the tears I cry

The tears that ran over the bruises and then into the cuts

Cuts I recieved because I was told I was a slut

Moving on no longer cuts but progressing into sores

Some say the blood in my vein is shallow

Shallow like the wanna be pre-madonnas

I was forced to associate with in order to prove my intellegence

Them triffling heffers who were the true sluts, but pretended to come accross eligant

Others tell me the blood in my veins pumps very weak

Weak and slow like my heartbeat after multiple close but UNSUCCESSFUL suicide attempts

Now I try to overdose, flowing lyrics throw my veins

This struggle for the feeling of exstacy is driving me insane

Keeps bringing back to these familar places

Blood from my sores over flowing in the room

Attempting to donate to save a life.

But turned away, I can't give life when mine is already taken

Nobody wants whats tainted

You heard my story, would you?????

I know you don't, and if you think you take this lyrical blood then you must be mistaken

 

 

 

 

I do not know if you guys remember this poem is is actually the very first post on my blog, which seems like so long ago. I remember when I first wrote this I had a couple people who were meant to be close to me read it, but I did not intially tell them I wrote it... and the response was insane.. they all said who ever wrote this is disturbed and has serious anger issues... and the only person who read it and assummed rite away I wrote it was Mike and my mother. But yet its like more and more I relive that poem, and fel that way everyday, and nobody get's it! I am angry all the time, and I end up snapping on people, and I guess I put on a good front, because a friend of mine told me she is never seen me down, or not bubbly! But the truth is I am not bubbly or happy... I mean I have happy moments that are surrounded by my sadness.

 

The other day I was talking to Mike about this, and he was asking me why and I really could not come up with a reason for why I am so messed up...and I started to cry, so naturually he asked why I was crying and I couldn't answer that either, it's like I am so unhappy/angry all the time that I get so angry that I become sad, and I just cry.... and I guess thats meant to make me feel better and it does for the moment until I start to think again. I never use to be like this I dont know what happened to me?!?!?! I am really hoping I will snap out of it, but some how I really dont think so, and I try to talk to people about and they really think its a joke, and nobody gets it! A lot of stuff has happened in the past, things that nobody knows about, and I dont know if that is the source of my anger. But I know that keeping all the secrets aren't helping me at all!!!

  

 

I've been holding my breath and

Im running out of air

Have you ever looked fear and the face and said I dont care?

Its not fair

I am reaching the piont of no return

I would never pull the triger but i have cried wolf a million times

I would never wish this feeling

I have lost my mind

And im bleeding out inside

You turned me out, and I cant turn back

I sometimes wish I could stop the flow of oxygen

And along with it stop all pain, fear, and hurt

The combination is sufficating

And Im running out of air

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Well we all know since my father found out about "Unstable Cradle" our relationship like this cake have been up in the air. Well I did wish him a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" via text, which I recieved no response to,but of course I did not expect one! I even debated buying him a card...but enlight of what he said about his Christmas card I thought best I didn't. In my eyes it's like I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't!!! Of course my Mom went on and on about how I should I buy one, but I thought about it and consulted with others..and thought it might not be in my best interest....especially since at this point I would have no idea what to write inside. And the writer in me wont let me send a card that just says Happy Birthday in it...

I know that my father still reads this blog, but I dont know! If he does read, dad I just wanted to tell you
       HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

It was a very MERRY Christmas!!!

Well as you all know Christmas just passed, and as i previously mentioned I went to visit my father's! Now before we jump to conclusions it actually went extremely well. The word nervous no where near describes how I felt on the drive to the his house....my mom said she was going to drop me off, and along the way I had to stop and pick up a card for him. Selecting cards for my father is always the hardest thing to, because lets be honest they say everything he is not! At this moment in time I was a little happy about this because it postponed our meeting! Finally I found one that said all that a father should be...and following all the passionate words it read "like a father should be...." never stating that he was or is...so it was PERFECT! Now back on the road to his home, near approaching his house I talked my mom into at least walking up to the door ro say "hello" and "merry christmas!"

As I reached the front step, my heart was racing, and had flashbacks of our fights and some of hurtful things he said the last time we spoke and I was in that house. He opened the door and invited my mother and I in. With my hand shaking profusely I handed him his carefully chosen Christmas card. I quickly placed my things down on the coach and my mom sat down as I ran to the ladies room... when I returned my fatheer was gone... a few seconds later he returned and handed me an orange box, and mumbled "i never did get a chance fi rap it..." I began to read the long passage on the front... but to be honest I skimmed and was thinking what the heck is in this box???? I opened the box and there was a Struhrling watch inside; with a million pieces of paper the read "warranty", "manual" and many more. I quickly put it on! My father turned to me and asked "you like it.." me with a grin on my face nodded yes; he continued "I have the same one, but mine a likkle bigger fi de males dem" as he held up his rist to show me! Now of cousre I felt a little bad, my mom kept nagging for me to buy him a gift, and I said no; all i bought him was a card and he gave me a $200 almost $300 watch!

Later I spoke to hubby and he jokingly said "gonna have to shut Unstable Cradle down!" Now let me make this clear like I have said in the past other all the things I post on this website about my father are all true but no matter what I still and always will LOVE him!! Granted he was in a really good mood when I visted, good enough for my mother and I to stay for over an hour...my dad from what you all have previously read is not always like that. After mothe and Isaid god bye and recieved very loving huggs from him we proceeded to the car; and as we pulled away we discussed how we ould tell my father is lonely and that fairly sixed house all by himself! My mother said to me "you know that website is going to break his heart!" then she thought for a second and proceeded to say "although letting him know what he did to you may be good for him!" I though about what she said... and it will truely break him, but at the same time like she said he needs to know how he broke me! I thought about maybe withdrawing from Unstable Cradle for a minute, but this theraputic to me...and a majority of my life is spent trying to please and satisfy other people; its time i do something for me! And regardless of how my father acted this visit...he changes completely from one moment to the next!

@Down2theLow

Since I started blogging almost a year now, I have really got into reading other peoples blogs...I LOVE IT!! One of the blogs I really love reading among the many is http://mydownlowlife.blogspot.com/ you all should definitely check it out, and now I am hooked on her book! Anyway after reading her blog a couple times, I can't remember why at first but I emailed her for something....and we have been emailing about everything and anything ever since! She is a phenomenal and intelligent woman, and she is extremely easy to talk to. She herself did not have the best relationship with her father growing up, she has not told me the full story yet but when she does she has given me premission to share it with all of you!


Well have you all have seen any of my tweets, you probably know my father is not well and it has been like pulling teath to get a hold of him or even find out what was wrong with him through anybody! Anyway when I found out that he was not well, of course I was worried, because no matter what I will always and forever love my father...I just do not appreciate a lot of the things he does! Well I began talking to @down2theLow about my feelings to father in regards to my blog... that if anything ever happened to him in away I would never forgive myself for not telling him about this site and how I really feel! As soon as I found out he was ill I called constantly adn left voicemails and never heard back from him! I finally spoke to him this morning, when he finally answered the phone! Boy, was that conversation awkward! He gave me one word reponses the whole time, and still did not give me much information about him being sick. Then he abruptly hung up, with no real goodbye! I am not going to lie I was a little hurt, but what was I really expecting we are talking about my father!


Throughout it all along with Mike, @down2thelow has been helping me deal with it the last couple days. She is truely awesome and always there with an open heart and mind sharing her guidance and wisdom! I love her!!