It Isn't Meant to Be Easy

Since I made the announcement about my upcoming nuptials I have received a tremendous amount of feedback. Part of my generation is in utter shock, but couldn’t be happier for me, while the older generation is having extreme difficulties with accepecting the plans that are to come…

 I read this post a couple weeks ago from my pal Muzik and it got me to thinking about marriage and why the oldies would have such a huge issue with it. It is a common statement that our generation is nothing like theirs, especially when it comes to responsibility and commitment.

The way I see it love isn’t easy at any age, no need to judge their union based upon age. A gentlemen in an attempt to discourage me from getting married told me that everyone he knows that has made such a commitment with each other at my age has divorced within a year. Those isolated incidents can not count for our entire generation because I know people in their late 20’s to mid 30’s (the more accepting marriageable ages) who have gotten married and haven’t lasted a year; plus I now couples that are in the same age brachet as me and have lasted way beyond a year.

Over 800 years ago the marriageable age for a woman was twelve, and could be acknowledged as early as seven as long as the union was not annulled before the marriageable age; granted things have drastically changed since then. The marriageable age in most places today is 18, but under the law of most religious communities or with parental consent it is actually younger, and it is mostly "religious" people that disapprove of our union. I am not going to sugar coat things and make it seem that people just get married and live happily ever after, nothing worth anything is that easy. A large caution comes from people that group ladies by statistics, because I am african american and grew up in a single parent home, that I will automatically look for a suitor that in some shape or form will resemble my father's characteristics. While my father may not be the best man on earth he had to have some good in him for my mother to be attracted to him, but I must say my Babeos is nothing like my father. Very much the opposite in more ways than one. Obviously shown by the fact Mike actually stepped up and asked for my hand in marriage.

Like I said age is nothing but a number, young or old  marriage is going to take work recently my fiance and I went o see the film Hope Springs not to spoil the movie for anyone, it is about a married couple of retirement age who have completely lost their spark. For them like most couples should be, divorce is not an option and they have basically become roomates, sleeping in separate quarters and have mundane casual conversations. Until they decieded to start actually putting some effort into their marriage. 

Compromise plays a large role in relationships, nobody is going to do everything you want perfectly at all times, that is unrealistic, and people are not mind readers communication is up their with trust and loyalty. When your spouse ask something of you, change is never easy but you cannot do it for a day and then revert back to your uncompromising ways. Too many of us want the fairy tale love we saw on TV, but wait til you see the uncut version of that love... yeah not so Cinderella! 

I think that men that are really making that commitment to a woman and intend to keep it should be commended instead of doubted. That is one of things that is wrong with our society we are quick to put somebody's dreams down once the mention of work, responsibility or commitment are involved. Discouraging comments do not help, people are quick to tell you what they think you can't do, instead of offering reassuring what you can do with some encouragement. How about taking failure of the option list. 

I am going forward with my wedding plans, and with prayer and putting God first Babeos and I will prove some people wrong! <3 data-blogger-escaped-nbsp="nbsp">

Like Muzik said no one said it was easy but true love never fails!

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