AD


His Journey!

I had the pleasure of meeting  a fellow blogger, a gentlemen by twitter name @AbsentDad, I must admit when I first cam accross his twitter name that is what got me interested, I immediately assumed that it was someone going through the same struggle I was.... but after I read his blog(http://absenteedad.blogspot.com/), and speaking to him I soon learned his story is a little different, a story you unfortunately do not hear as much as mine!


Me and @AbsentDad began emailing eachother and he told me his story, I do not want to give to much away becasue he has a blog of his own that he is going to post on, but the short story is he was dating a woman for a short period and when he decieded he still wanted to be with his ex, causing him to stop dating the woman, she found out she was pregnant. He attempted to do the correct thing by being there for the woman baring his child and still being faithful in his relationship, but after a long struggle the woman requested him to stay out of her and his daughters life! HE DID! The thing different about him is he has regreted that ever since... his blog is his road back to his daughter after 16yrs of no contact! He has recently began e-mailing her, but she is not to open, but I have expresssed to him she will open up when she is ready, look  how long it took me! I have never heard the story told form this point of view, I commend him, too many men leave and never look back! People may say well he never should have given up in the first place, but you do not know what he was going through, and nobody is perfect and the operative point is that he is now attempting to rectify the relationship!
In closing @AbsentDad wrote this to me in an email, and I attempt to remind myself of this everyday, that this is not my fault, but everybody makes mistakes...and I know it may not seem that way i forgive me dad for what he has done; like I said in a way I am thankful for it...becasue it made me the strong woman I am today!
"This is a very different situation from yours, but here is the essential similarity: what happened with your father is NOT your fault! You did nothing wrong. Adults mess up and do painful things that leave scars, but the core fact is it is not your fault, failure or shortcoming that caused it.it's good to feel your pain, own it and experience it ... and then it is good to do what you can to move beyond it, not let it own you. Some people wear their pain as a continual badge of honor; it defines them but also controls them. Not saying you're doing this, just saying that, while it may be ironic that I'm giving this advice, I have lived using my pain as a shield & sword ... and maybe I was an absent father because of it. The experience of having and leaving L___ was what made me finally go to therapy and hopefully grow."

You all should FOLLOW @AbsantDad on twitter and most definitely FOLLOW his blog to hear the whole story and see him proceed on a road to a better relationship with his lost daughter!